Last Updated: May 2026
By downloading, installing, or using My Snarky Phone (the "App"), you agree to these Terms of Service ("Terms") and our Privacy Policy. If you disagree, do not use the App. These Terms form a binding agreement between you ("User" or "you") and Eric Blazek ("we," "us," or "our").
You must be 13 or older to use the App. If you are under 18, you need parental consent. The "Spicy" content tier contains mild profanity and is intended for users aged 13 and older. By selecting that tier, you confirm you meet this requirement.
We grant you a limited, non-exclusive, non-transferable, revocable license to use the App on any Apple device you own or control, for personal, non-commercial purposes, subject to these Terms and the Apple Standard EULA.
You may not:
The App requests microphone permission solely to detect double-clap patterns on-device. By granting this permission, you acknowledge that:
My Snarky Phone offers a one-time Premium upgrade processed through Apple's App Store. All purchases are final and subject to Apple's Terms of Sale. We do not handle or store your payment information directly.
If you have a billing issue, please contact Apple Support. Refund requests are handled by Apple, not us.
The App may be temporarily unavailable due to maintenance, updates, or circumstances outside our control. We make no guarantees of uninterrupted availability or performance. Clap detection requires the app to be running in the foreground or background; Hey Siri operates independently of app state.
You agree to use the App only for its intended purpose — locating your phone. You may not use the App to:
The App's voice responses are for entertainment purposes only. Nothing in the App constitutes mental health, medical, legal, financial, or any other form of professional advice. (Your phone is snarky, not licensed.)
If you submit feedback or suggestions, you do so voluntarily. We may use your feedback to improve the App without obligation or compensation to you.
THE APP IS PROVIDED "AS IS" WITHOUT WARRANTIES OF ANY KIND, EXPRESS OR IMPLIED, INCLUDING WARRANTIES OF MERCHANTABILITY, FITNESS FOR A PARTICULAR PURPOSE, OR NON-INFRINGEMENT. WE DO NOT WARRANT THAT THE APP WILL ALWAYS SUCCESSFULLY LOCATE YOUR PHONE.
TO THE FULLEST EXTENT PERMITTED BY LAW, WE SHALL NOT BE LIABLE FOR ANY INDIRECT, INCIDENTAL, SPECIAL, CONSEQUENTIAL, OR PUNITIVE DAMAGES ARISING FROM YOUR USE OF OR INABILITY TO USE THE APP. OUR TOTAL LIABILITY FOR ANY CLAIM SHALL NOT EXCEED $100 OR THE AMOUNT YOU PAID FOR THE APP IN THE LAST 12 MONTHS, WHICHEVER IS GREATER.
We may suspend or terminate your access to the App at any time, with or without cause, and without notice. Upon termination, you must cease all use of the App. Your one-time Premium purchase will continue to function on devices where it is already installed.
These Terms are governed by the laws of the United States and the State of Illinois, without regard to conflict of law principles. Any disputes shall be resolved via binding arbitration in Chicago, Illinois, except where prohibited by law.
We may update these Terms from time to time. We will update the date at the top of this page when we do. Continued use of the App after changes constitutes your acceptance of the updated Terms.
Questions about these Terms? We'd love to hear from you.